About to Leave
A resignation is the end of a process that started months earlier. By the time it is announced, most of what could have changed the outcome has already passed.
The shape of the decision
Something happens. A missed promotion, a reorganisation, a manager change, a period of unreasonable load.
Then a period of quiet reappraisal, weeks or months, in which the person is not looking but has started comparing.
Then looking, which is when the decision has effectively been made — because looking produces offers and offers produce momentum.
And then resignation, which is an announcement rather than a decision.
The window is the middle stage, and it is the one with no visible signals in any system.
Six signals
Withdrawal from the optional. Stopped volunteering, stopped arguing in meetings, stopped staying for the interesting part. The clearest and the least recorded.
Work becomes exactly sufficient. Delivered, on time, without the extra — which reads as fine in every metric.
Questions about process rather than about work. Handover, documentation, how something would be picked up.
A change in horizon. Stops referring to things beyond a few months.
Annual leave patterns, sometimes.
And they stopped raising problems, which is the same signal as everything else on this site and means the effort has been reallocated.
What is available at each stage
During the trigger event: almost everything. This is where a conversation costs nothing and changes the trajectory.
During reappraisal: a great deal, if somebody notices. The one-to-one is the only instrument and the question has to be direct — "has something changed for you here" rather than "everything all right?"
Once they are looking: little. The offer supplies both the pull and the justification, and counter-offers have a poor record because they address the stated reason.
After resignation: nothing about this person, and something about the next one.
What not to do on noticing
Do not make it an accusation. "Are you looking?" is a question that damages the relationship whether the answer is yes or no.
Do not escalate to their manager's manager if you are the manager.
And do not pre-emptively replace them in your head, which they will detect and which converts a possibility into a certainty.
What to do
Ask the direct question about them, not about the job. What has changed for you. What would make the next year better than the alternative.
Fix one thing visibly, quickly, however small. Speed matters more than size — it demonstrates that raising something produces movement.
And accept that some departures are correct. Not every exit is a failure, and treating them all as retention problems produces pressure to keep people in roles they have outgrown.
The short version
- A resignation is an announcement; the decision was made during a quiet reappraisal weeks or months earlier
- Six signals: withdrawal from the optional, work becoming exactly sufficient, questions about handover, a shortened horizon, leave patterns, and no longer raising problems
- Work becoming exactly sufficient reads as fine in every metric, which is why the window is invisible
- Almost everything is available at the trigger event, a great deal during reappraisal, little once they are looking
- Do not ask whether they are looking, do not escalate, and do not replace them in your head
- Ask what has changed for them, fix one thing visibly and fast, and accept that some departures are correct
For additional context on this topic, see Inc..